Friday, March 22, 2013

Thankful

The past month has been such a blessing to us!  We welcomed Polly's little sister, our rainbow, on February 19th.  Blakely Lynn Dawson was born into the world screaming at 7:55am, 8lbs 5oz, and 20.5 inches long.  To say we are thankful is an understatement.  Now after we have had our rainbow baby with us for a month, I have started to grow familiar with this new normal of having a baby in our home.  I look at Blakely and realize what a miracle she is.  She has already blessed our lives so much and we thank God for her daily.  There were so many times where I wondered which day in my pregnancy something would not form correctly and when we would get bad news.  I know that sounds depressing but it is true and it was a constant fear.  Although I never had the nagging worry that something was very wrong, like I did while I carried Polly, I was just in disbelief that things could be alright.  We prayed constantly that we would be able to bring this blessing home.  I honestly could not even imagine what it would be like to have a normal experience.  As Blakely's due date got closer I worried more and more.  It was like the days kept flying by and her birthday would be here before I knew it and that ever looming question.....would she be ok?....took over all my thoughts.  But God sent me so many signs to remind me that He is in control and I believe He was also telling me that things would be alright.  As I lay in bed the night before my c-section, Blakely got the hiccups.  She had those many times but I thought that was ironic as I lay there wondering what her birthday would be like.  Hiccups were always a good sign of lung development and I would find a great comfort in feeling Blakely hiccuping away in my belly.  Even now I smile when she has them, thinking of how excited I was the first time I felt them.  I feel asleep to them that night.  The next morning was a blur.  I remember getting ready and heading to the hospital, feeling very anxious but knowing it was all out of my hands.  As we drove to the hospital, I even heard the one song on the radio that had become "Blakely's song" for me, another sign from God that He was with me.  As the were getting me ready at the hospital, we were introduced to the various people who would be in the room when she was delivered.  All were very kind as we answered the question that this was not our first child and that we were more nervous than excited.  The nurse that was getting me ready also asked us some questions.  As I tried to keep it together I explained it wasn't our first child and before I could really get much out about Polly, she said that she remembered us.  She had been our night nurse the two nights I was in the hospital here.  She ended up being a night nurse for me again and I was so thankful because along with her we had other nurses take care of us again that we had in 2011.  Many told us they had heard we were pregnant and were anxiously awaiting our visit.  Soon it was time for me to head to the operating room.  All I could do was pray as they wheeled me into the room and got me ready for surgery.  It was very different this time, but looking back I think that was God again helping me to not know what to expect and therefore I was almost preoccupied from my worries with the buzz of activity around me.  Soon Whit joined me and we waited for the moment we would know Blakely was here.  I prayed the night before she was born for God to let me hear her cry.  To me if I heard her screaming, that meant she would be ok.  Well God granted that comfort to us because before the doctors could even say she was here, we heard her screaming.  The tears were flowing from us as we sobbed out of joy and also from many of the nurses and specialists in the room.  That moment I had feared suddenly turned into joy as she continued to cry and cry.  Her cry was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.  The next thing I know I have her sweet face next to mine and all I could do was kiss her over and over.  Her sweet eyes were opened and she made the cutest faces as she tried to adjust her eyes to the new world she was in.  The rest of our hospital stay was a blur of happy precious moments, visitors, and no sleep, which we loved every second of it!  Many of the nurses and specialists who had helped Polly, even ones we had never met, came in to tell us congratulations.  It was priceless to see so many faces who had met both of our babies.  The past month has gone by so fast, much faster than I could have imagined and it has been perfect.  How thankful we are that God answered our prayers with the cutest rainbow baby, the one we prayed for from even before we knew of her.

Today is a bittersweet day for us.  Blakely is 31 days old, which is the age Polly made her trip to Heaven.  I look at Blakely and realize how very young that is.  It hasn't felt like she has been here a month yet.  I can't let my mind wander too much, it is too painful all the what-ifs, but one thing that has helped is for me to think that if it wasn't for Polly, we probably wouldn't have Blakely.  I believe without a doubt that Polly watches over her too, jusy like big sisters do.  The happiness that both of our girls have brought to our lives is indescribable.  Our 31 days with Polly, although very scary and painful, were also some of the happiest and I would relive them again in a second.  Blakely has brought us so much happiness too, more than we could have imagined.  We have a forever hole in our hearts that only Polly can fill, but the fullness that Blakely has already brought to our lives has been precious to us.  How thankful we are for God to bless us with two beautiful girls who have changed our lives for the better.  Do we miss Polly every second of every day?  Yes, may be even more now that we see what could have been, what we missed out on.  But we wouldn't have traded being parents to either of our babies for a second.  We will always be grateful God chose us to be parents to our beautiful Polly and Blakely.  

As we continue our journey we wanted to extend our thanks to everyone who has prayed for our family.  We may not be quick to get back to your emails or phone calls, but every note and message has been received graciously and we are so thankful for the support group we have in each of you.  Please enjoy some of our precious pictures of Blakely's arrival below.  All our love!

 Blakely Lynn Dawson
Born February 19, 2013

 Blakely and her proud Daddy


Getting her first kiss from her Mommy

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures of Miss Blakely! So happy for both of you!!!

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