Remembering Polly

I feel like it is my mission as Polly's mom to make sure no one forgets about her.  Although she was here for only a month, such a short time, and few people met her, I still want to talk about her and how she has changed our lives.  Parents always want to talk about their kids, no matter what age they are.  What else is more important in your life than your children?  Our problem is since Polly was a baby, since so few people got to know her, then no one can talk to us about her really.  It isn't like she was older and there are memories of her, not that that would make loosing a child easier.  I only mean other people could say "I remember when Polly did this...", but since she was a baby not only did most not see her tiny personality but so few people got to see her since we were 3+ hours away from our home.  There is also a misconception that people don't want to mention your baby because they are worried about upsetting us or may be about themselves getting upset.  Believe me, it brings joy to my heart when someone says Polly's name.  She is always on my mind, always in my heart.  What else do I have to talk about?  I have had friends or family say that something reminded them of Polly and how they had thought of her that day, and that completely just touches my heart.  Someone else thought of my baby today and that just makes me feel happy.  Since we never brought her home it is almost like she was never here.  When I first got home I had such a hard time because I felt like I was still pregnant and we were awaiting her arrival.  It was a sad day the first morning I woke up and was consciously aware that Polly had already been born and she was in Heaven.  A sad and yet comforting thought for me.  I didn't have to remind myself that day and every day since.  My belly was still big, her things were ready to be used, I still slept with my body pillow that helped me so many nights fall asleep while I carried her, but yet she was not here.  And since all I do is think about her, literally that is all I bring to the table conversation-wise, of course I love others to mention her and how she has changed their lives.  Yes Whit and I are sad, so utterly devastated missing our precious child, so if we cry when we speak of her it is because we are sad.  Someone bringing up Polly doesn't remind us that she is gone.  I literally fight back tears the majority of the day, I'm going to cry at some point, you just may or may not be there to witness it.  I also know so many people don't know what to do.  They want to do something for us, but the fact is no one can do anything.  I don't mean to make it sound like we don't appreciate things because we do.  Our friends and family have helped carry us with their support and prayers and even strangers have been so overwhelming supportive.  But there is nothing anyone can do to make the pain go away.  It won't ever go away, you just get used to it, atleast that is what I hear.  We will never be "better".  But it touches us so deeply, even enough to bring tears to our eyes, for someone to mention our baby, say her name, and tell us how she has touched their life.  We don't want anyone to ever forget that we have a very special daughter who we completely and wholeheartedly fell in love with.  She will forever remain close to our hearts.  And we ask that you, as our friends and family, help us carry on her memory and never forget her.